Dining Out (Blogophilia 30.5)

In the early years of our marriage, my wife and I loved to go out to eat.  It was just something we did every Friday night after work.  I’d pick her up at the train station and we would head out.  

One fall Friday, we chose one of our favorite places, Good Ol’ Days.  It was a bar with an outdoor patio that we loved to sit on cool nights. It was a converted Dairy Queen that sat between a tire store and another bar on a very busy road.   I’d had been a regular customer and an employee of this place long before our marriage and the management always extended the best in southern hospitality to us.  Even to the point of a cold pitcher of beer being at the table any time we were seated.   But this night was going to be a bit different.

As he handed us our menus, our waiter, Karl, nodded to the table behind us where two very drunk guys were sitting. They had a hard time keeping their heads erect and It looked like they were trying to figure out who was going to lead and follow, while hoping everyone else would get out of the way. Karl whispered to me they had a large tab and they were going to skip.  

 I knew from my prior restaurant experience, the secret is to be prepared.   It helped that I was dressed in a loose linen jacket and open shirt. I looked very much like the manager of the place. Glancing at my quarry, I guessed which way each of them would go. The one to my right looked like he would head towards the tire store, so I decided to follow him.  I really didn't want to chase anyone into the street.  Kathryn and I placed our order for flower pot sandwiches and fried mushrooms. I adjusted my chair appropriately for what was coming next. 

As soon as Karl went inside to place the order, the morons bolted.  As I guessed, the one on the leftheaded toward the street and my guy took off toward the tire store. There was a low split rail fence at edge of the property and Bright Boy turned around there to find me looking him right in the eye. I said "Sir, I don't believe you have paid your bill." I thought he was going to melt right through the pavement.  He meekly followed me back into the bar to talk to the manager. Meanwhile, Karl chased the other guy out into the middle of the street and drug him back in to a full round of applause from the other diners. 

In the end, the Idiots’ bill got paid and they were banned from returning to the place.  Molly, the manager came over and comped our dinner along with another pitcher of beer and we spent the rest of the night reminiscing of the other good (and not so good) times we had.