A.G.E's Joint

  In the Devil's Quill executive conference room in Arlington VA, Richard Nixon and the top operations directors are having their weekly status meeting. Richard Nixon: "O.K., folks. Let's settle down and get to business. Marty, can you give us a status report on the new employee recruiting process? Marty Mammon: "Certainly. Things are better than expected. This new internet tool has been instrumental in capturing even the hardest cases. We've reduced Maker's intake load by 30%, while increasing our call centers capacity by an almost like amount." Nixon: "Excellent. Beezlebub said you were the best at building tests." Mammon: "Been at it a long time, Sir. One thing I have always taken to heart was something an old guy told me. 'It ain't over until it's over'" Nixon: "Ah, Yogi..." Mammon: "No, Sir. Berra stole that from one of my earliest projects, Job. I thought that guy would never quit...

In a conference room outside of Dallas, TX     OK, every one. Settle down and let’s get started. My name is Marty Mammon, Senior Demon Director of Sales and Compliance here at Devil’s Quill Communications. On behalf of our Chairman, Mr. Lucifer Beezlebub, we welcome you to your new adventure here at Devil’s Quill, or as we lovingly call it, DQ.   What’s that? No, you can’t have a Brazier Burger and a Mister Misty. Did this building look like a cow barn to you?    [With a bang and a puff of smoke, the questioner is transferred to another department]   Any more smart remarks? Thank you.    Anyway, you were specially selected to spend eternity with us in the compliance department. DQ has been a leader in soul marketing and testing for more than 5700 years. We take pride in our ability to get people to waste their wishes on wishing . Each of you has been selected for our program based on your ability to convince others to sell o...