A.G.E's Joint

 It is Friday night and the deadline is coming up. When the topic came up, it was suggested I might do a Harry Handy since he's been silent for a while. I talked to him through the internet ether and he said was busy with some girl. I asked what did she look like? He gave me the Zoom link. Uh, yeah.  I think I'll leave those kids to OnlyFans.  It could have been a Devil's Quill, but when I called Marty Mammon, he said he was dealing with the aftermath of a Wrath project overseas that had gotten stuck. We chatted a while and I suggested my friend Kari Summers might be of assistance, He was quite familiar with her work. More than one person she'd helped over the bridge was with him, but this involved something above individual attention.  Really? Are my best characters ignoring me? I'm afraid they are.  Maybe I could talk about great trips.  But that doesn't happen until next month. Oh, well. I'll figure it out.  Main Topic-What do I write on? Prompt 1-T...

 Hey, Heidy and Howdy!  It's your old buddy Harry Handy, the randiest DJ on your Internet dial. Yeah, it's been a while since I've been on. You see, I've transitioned. Where I was a free spirited human, I'm now... That's right, folks. The good ol' Grim Reaper came in the form of a sexy vampire and slipped her teeth in and I was transferred to the media department of Devil's Quill Communications. So, how does an Internet Sensation like myself handle the post All Souls blues? With fire, of course.  My new gig isn't too bad and Mr. Beezlebub seems to like my playlists. I mean, what can he do if I mess up like I did topside? What's that? Oh. One more earworm before I sign off. Don't look for the stop button. There isn't one. 

Hey, Heidy and Howdy!. It's your ol' buddy, Harry live on good ol' WOFT. The marketing weasels have been crunching the latest Nielsen numbers and they saidgolden oldies aren't cutting it anymore. That's right! Fewer and fewer of you Geritol kids have it in you to keep up, or worse have joined me here in the wind. Well, as public service (and a craven attempt to keep my job), I have taken it upon myself to give you, my listeners, the strength to carry on. Hey! Isn't that a song lyric? I read somewhere that laughter is the best medicine, so tonight's show is all COMEDY! We'll start with Happy Hour. Now where I'm from the Killjoys in the State Revenue department no longer allow for drink specials, but I am aware of a few places you can pong for your beer... By the time you've played a round or three, you get really happy. So happy, you don't care what silliness is on TV. But some jerk decides cartoon Wrasslin' ain't real s...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy, Ladies and Gents. Good Ol' Harry here and tonight's show on the Fart is special. We're calling it "Talking to the Moon." Or, howling might be more accurate. Midnight is we think of love and loss, and the best type of music for the theme is Tears in Your Beer country. Yep, all those Grand Ol' Opry stars talking about lost loves. Speaking of lost loves, my competition and colleague, Delilah, is having a rough time in her life. She lost a child recently and has been bereft (don'tcha love that word) about playing her sappy love songs. So the first dedication of the night is to her. Here's hoping she's.. When the full moon is out there, if we have a partner, we think about dancing with them. If we have lost a partner, we want one. Either way we know something is there following us. And as we wander, the sadness of the missing grows. Even when we are home, the sense of loneliness grows. And the wo...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. I'm back for another round of randy dandy DJ's silliness here on WOFT, Old Fart's Radio. My name is Harry Handy (as if you didn't know that), twisting tongues and pleasing girls...at least until my ex-wife found out. This is sort of how I became a rambling man . Yes, ladies and gents, I was that guy Harry Chapin talked about in his song, trolling the clubs after hours, trying to play kickball with the girls. (And there are no ugly girls) I'd wouldn't let them kick my balls, though. Well, the ex found out and kicked them anyway. During all this, I found out I was quite illiterate. But I read a lot of legal mumbo jumbo. Things about child support and cost of the court. Oh, I'll admit Ol' Harry deserved his spanking, but he wished it was in any room but a courtroom. I would have been such a good boy....(A walk!. I wanna go for a walk!) When it was all over, I needed extra bread to cover her place AND mine. A friend of...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy! It's your old pal, Harry Handy, the randy dandy DJ  here on WOFT, Old Farts Radio, the jumping jukebox for the Geritol generations. We used to say "Don't trust anybody over 30." Now , it's "Everyone is half my age!" I've been off the air for a while. Got involved a little legal kerfuffle with my second ex concerning running with scissors. It sounded something like this... Yeah. pretty bad and a sharp object lesson for sure. And now a word from our sponsor. Yes, that is Betty White when she was young and sexy. Now, she's old and...old And so are we. Remember when our theme song was: Especially after finally hitting the home run? She insisted on cuddling and watching the stars when all you wanted to do was get something to eat. Well, we know how that went. But you have to say she turned out to be the spitting image of her mother. And now your daughter is fighting that same breeze from down under h...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. It is ME! Harry Handy, your handy dandy old time DJ here on WOFT.  Always here for you Geritol Guys and Miralax Gals.  And being of Geritol age, we ask "What, Nephew, is that wind at the door".  I am, of course, talking about that legend of legends, Mr. Casey Kasem, who found the stars finally this week.  I can hear you ladies say "Please say it isn't so." But like all of us, his contract here on earth was cancelled. Like most of us vinyl pushers, I looked at Casey as a role model. Someone to structure my schtick by.  Here is a good example of the man in action: No sloth in that man. Every week, his pride and lust for popular music shown in his voice and demeanor.  Tightly structured, the show moved from song to song effortlessly.  There were always rumors he was on Capitol or Columbia's payroll. But his audience never paid that any mind. He was also a well known voice over artist. Everyone knows his most famous char...

Yes, you know him. Overall one of the most recognizable faces on television ever.  But also the operator of one of the most subtle and effective Christian ministries ever.  It all was predicated on this passage: The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these." Mark 12:31 And Fred said. "Won't you be my neighbor?" Yes.  Yes, I will.

Hey, heidy and howdy.  It's your randy, dandy DJ, Harry Handy here on WOFT-Old Farts radio.  Lately it has come to my attention that there are YOUNGER people that like the music here on the Fart.  Well, let me be the kindly uncle to those whippersnappers who want to know what real music is.  And SOME of them want to know what Ol' Harry's greatest hits were. Well, back in the bad old days, Harry liked to party.  And he lived in one of the better party towns of the 1970's, HOTlanta, Georgia. Harry himself got to see Big George and the gang at the Omni.  And then we would hit Underground Atlanta for a beer at the old. We'd get home at sunrise and sleep a bit and go out to do it again. One day, I was invited to a party.  I mentioned it to my Program Director, Nightfly Sourpuss, and he told me He knew the people hosting the party and only sorrow would come of it.  Well, I never was one to listen, so I went.  There was the usual...

Punk and anger Go together, As it were A generations rebellion Against all that Had come before. Jello, Siouxie, and Serj Yelling and screaming Telling What is wrong With the world. Bob, Joan and Pete Still said it better With more passion And fewer decibels. But the rebellion Is a phase We all become parodies Satire doesn't effect change. Only time does. 

Hey, Heidy and Howdy!  It's your favorite randy dandy old time disc man Harry Handy, here to fill up your time in God's waiting room.  And have I got a story for you.  Ol' Harry here took a road trip out west, to beautiful Santa Fe, New Mexico.  I'd heard it was lovely and a great place to relax after dealing with program managers without a clue.  I mean, I know the music exists to sell advertising, but funeral home ads? I just had to go somewhere far, far away. Getting there was quite the ordeal.  I flew out the nest and up to St. Louis, where I had to do the one thing air travelers dread, changing planes. We were a little late getting off and my layover was short, so I knew it was going to be hustle. I asked the gate agent coming off the plane where my next flight was.  It was all the way at the other end of the airport and I had 20 minutes to get there.  It kind of looked like this. On the way over, I had to visit the facilities....

Hey, Heidy and Howdy!  I am your intrepid DJ, Harry Handy coming to you live from "Catch a Falling Star."  The night club for the has beens and never weres. The club is serving something called a "Ben Gay" at half price.  The bartender won't tell me what's in it.  As always, this Old Farts program is brought to you by Ensure, nutrition when nothing tastes good; and by Eggo Waffles, providing breakfast for good ol' Harry for two generations.  We are here, as always,  to celebrate our past, for better or worse. (In the case of my second marriage, much worse) A lot has been said for bands from the '60's, '70's and '80's that continue to tour long past their prime.  How a lot of them are but shadow's of their former selves.  One of those great band is Lynyrd Skynyrd.  The unluckiest band in the business.  Thirty five years ago, the band literally went up in smoke and the ashes have been performing ever since.  Anyway, here is ...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. It’s another beautiful evening here at WOFT, Old Farts Radio.   And your intrepid interpreter of all things cultural, Harry Handy is on the air to get you through this next election. And it appears we are going to need all the help we can get. Honestly, folks.   Have you ever seen a bunch of supposedly grown adults act like such children?   They get down in the puddles of public opinion and fling mud (and other things) at each other in attempt to attract the most attention.    The candidates and their minions might call themselves Elephants and Jackasses, but in reality they are just….   I recently went to Italy with Kathy, my fine, supermodel wife.   We were in Florence and we happened on a game of Calcio Fioretino.   It is a ancient game and an ancestor to modern Rugby.      I was like Deacon Andy Griffith wanting a big orange while I was watching all the fest...