A.G.E's Joint

Reveille sounded across base.  Mike drug himself out of his bunk and blindly put on fatigues.  It was a short day, only PT this morning , then on leave until Monday. Sarge's  voice droned as he went through the routine:  50 pushups, 50 crunches, Jumping Jacks. Thoughts of Susan,  the girl he met the other day at the NCO were drifting in his head. Long brown hair and sweet smell filled his mind. She stayed in a dorm at the local college. Not only had he gotten her number, she had agreed to a picnic.  Mike's mind wasn't on task as he stumbled through the obstacle course. There was a scream in his ear.He shrugged it off. He was just another GI trying to get through this assignment and on to the next one.  An hour and a half later, he was done and headed towards the barracks. A quick shower and change into civvies. With a wave to the guard, he pointed the Mini into town. He drove up to the parking gate.The guard looked at him warilyas he buzzed him through...

Not quite. There still is the Board approval and all that. Will he turn the platform into his Bully Pulpit, demonizing everyone who criticizes Him? Too early to tell. But a rewatch of Citizen Kane is warranted.  [Edit] Maybe it isn't happening at all.

The diner could have been anywhere. This one was found while driving around East Jesus, New York. At least that's what this town seemed like to her. Thirty miles to go on the road trip from Hell. Traffic had been light on the overnight run.  Hot coffee wouldn’t hurt. Crossing the border during the busy part of the day was her plan, the guards wouldn’t ask questions. Debbie stumbled out of the car, dragging food wrappers along the way. The place was like the scarier areas in the desert, except colder. The parking lot was almost empty. A puddle reflected the snow-laden sky and the motel vacancy sign. Shivering, she pulled her jacket tighter and stepped in the door. Pink and white decorations dotted the counters, the remains of a Valentine party the night before. An ancient Wurlitzer  jukebox played caterwauling country tunes. Bacon, and the promise of more, tickled her nose. A big-haired waitress chewing gum nodded toward a line of stools against the front window. She went t...

Jive talkin’, wearing a disguise It is all you know You left your real self behind long ago. Like lavender in a bathroom Covering the smell of deceit And serve Chamomile tea To calm my nerves You ask me to trust But no more. I only verify your lies. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Topic- Dave Coon Pic: Angel, death, lovers, winged serpent, alabaster, marble

A waif floated on the screen. Flat hair, flat chest Line of beads in her hair Beige bustier washed out The girl next door The one you never see. If she’s someone’s dream He couldn’t see it. Next video, please. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Writer’s Choice Topic-The Girl Next Door Hard prompt-the color beige Easy- Waif Pic- Michelle King Pic guesses- Rocking pumpkin, Do the mash, Halloween, Hooked up.

Modest bodice Black lace Belt trimmed waist Fedora topped fantasy Innocence. Exploration. Hiding hysteria Half a generation old Eat it up and breathe it in Let it become you like it's always been Powerless to fight Against the tide. Dozen  white roses Fade from view Abandoned on white sheets Tousled and tossed Dark against light Musk remains Regret, Table for one.

Funny thing about Google searches. You start down one path and you find yourself in a world you never expected. Seems as though Turtle Boy may have been on to something. In the last several months, several writers had disappeared, one after another. One of the more puzzling was a guy named Dave, writing dispatches from the Snowy Badlands. Most people found his folksy humor endearing and his audience looked forward to his stuff every week. One day, Dave’s empty Stetson was found on the grounds of the Arboretum outside St. Paul, with no indications on where he went. No witnesses or evidence was left behind. His car was still at his residence along with all of his belongings. A missing person’s report went into the round file, since he was (supposedly) an adult and there was no indication of foul play. A rumor he was feeding loons in Lake Woebegone circulated, but no one really believed that. Nothing had come up until I stumbled on a cryptic message from the Northwoods indicating t...

Everyone is in an uproar over sports "stars" kneeling during the National Anthem opening. It's the same as a Hooker saluting your flag before she sucks your wallet dry. Only the NFL does it without lube or protection.

Given the topics is Vintage Lies, Dahlia’s five truths game will work. The “vintage” part is most of these events take place before I got married (and boring). I was in a bar on a random Wednesday night. It was kind of slow, so I was able to get a seat next to this bald fellow chatting up a lady. Just after I gave my order, the lady excused herself and the man turned to me and asked for a light. It was Telly Savalas. After attending a club show, I was accosted by two blind men begging for money, one of them playing a banjo. It was Steve Martin and Martin Mull. The lambs looked out of place, but the street scene finds focus in their face. I took a college class with Jeff Foxworthy. He’s a lot smarter than he makes out. If you are familiar with the book “Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil”, I was acquainted with both Danny Hansford and his killer, Jim Williams at different times in my life. I played chess with Mark David Chapman. He was high every time we met and he smelled ...

Scanning the sites today, I find an article claiming about 10% of air travelers have had sex either in the airport or on the plane itself. Getting Busy Now, for several reasons, I rarely fly. But I guess I'm just not looking in the right direction when I go through the airport. All I see are exhausted drones dragging their belongs behind them trying to make the next flight. Maybe I should go out more?

So the topic is “On the Road Again?” Kind of a tough one, since I just did a road trip story. But, that means I’ll have to use chance operations. Maybe my mind will get enriched. Like noticing the pic for this week Is the perfect finish to a romantic weekend. Wine with a shower. Good loofah action there. Drinking a cup while drinking each other’s cup. Maybe I should find an old Olds 98. A boat anchor With a bench in the back big enough for two Run it down to Miami And get it stuck in the Daytona strand While a cute blonde looks on. She’s sympathetic And she has a box of Bota For when quantity means more Than quality. Steamy scents in bedroom And bathroom Until all Ends in a tangle Of limbs. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Topic- Colleen Keller Breuning Pic- Sallon Newlove Pic Guesses-Steamy (in blog), Drink from each other’s cups (in blog), Steamy scents (in blog), Loofah action, Relaxing, End ...

I have to admit it. I like bad movies. I mean REALLY bad movies. The kind they show on Elvira and Mystery Science Theater 3000. Movies with plots so ridiculous and with cheesy, bad effects you can only laugh out loud at their absurdity.    I was cruising around YouTube looking at clips about living off the grid and in converted vans when a movie came up: I clicked on it, thinking it was the normal 1 to 5 minute clip, and realized it was a full 100 minute movie. I didn’t have anything better to do, so, I watched.   A quick synopsis: a ship (looking suspiciously like the SS Enterprise) with a crew of three scantily clad, incompetent women is lost in space and chooses to land for repairs in a remote corner of an English park. The landing is witnessed by an uptight Couple (Oliver and Prudence), a Swinging Single (Cliff) and a Wimpy Nerd (Willy), who go to investigate. They are lured on board and the fun and games begin.   The movie is from 1979 and...

Clickbait.   You know it. You've seen it.   http://www.nytimes.com/roomfordebat... It is the ultimate masquerade. An eye catching headline inducing an unintended left finger movement. Whether It is article, slideshow or video, it is what the Internet has devolved into, a series of empty calorie diversion that bloat the mind.    If you are a professional writer, you want those clicks to happen. Otherwise your lonely missives are lost in the ether. But like a slippery slope into an unending labyrinth, the process of creating them becomes an addiction for both writer and reader. A dark Gepetto pulling emotional strings for Pinocchio to react.    Instead of reading filling, uplifting poetry and stories, we slide down a rabbit hole of 10 worst this, unbelievable that and gross something or another. Oh, we might click on a cute kitten or puppy vid, but for the most part we lean toward the tawdry and sadistic, and it isn't eve...

“I just had the best night of my life! Alert the media! He was loving and caring and I’m still dragging!!”   Yeah, you’ve seen those posts, either on a Tweet. (Or a text where the Butt mis-dialed by one line and your spouse asks “Who is Sheila?” “Girl at work. She told me she had a date.”) People celebrating new found lust. (Can’t call it love yet. That takes more time.) The moans and coos are almost audible. Some of them are explicit enough to make you spit out your morning coffee. You hope they at least got a room.    You are happy for the person, but kind of embarrassed at the same time. You wonder if they are going put up pictures of the event. (Oh, please don’t. I don’t need to see your Kangaroo tied down, Sport.) It is a vicarious thrill in an otherwise boring day.    Of course, there is a bit of jealousy. Why can’t it be you in the fantasy world where dancing on love’s threshing floor has no consequences. To have a moment where nothing ma...

Dancing slowly around the counter Sinatra on the oldies station What music they make. Apron swaying To a Parisian dream. Teaspoon off the rack Spices sprinkled in flour.     Beads as liquid joins.   Dough ball forms slowly.   Familiar thrill begins   Love rises, falls.      Hands quickly knead Searching the dragon’s face When love is not madness, It is not love. Spirit attracted To the scent. To her   She is the bread   Intertwined loaves in the oven Only in the next life, She knows.    Topic- Kim Herndon Pic- Christine Wichman Pic Guesses-Dragon (in blog), Sauron, Godzilla, Long Journey, Middle Earth, Knights of old, Tequila dreams, 4 and 20 years ago,

On opposite ends  She  Apple, not pear  He  Sheep, not bull  Wait their fate.   They look  Exchange words  Emotion is contagious  Enchanted They head toward the door  Her car, faster  His gun, bigger Hot night  Shearing each other  They meet. Ram finding  Apples taste sweet  Apple finding  It’s good to be ewe In a pasture Of your own making. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Topic- Dave Coon Pic- Nina Nixon Pic Guesses-Little Princess, Oasis, Mirage, Repose, Alien, Body Snatcher, Desert Dream, Earrings against skin so brown, Peaceful easy feeling.

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. I'm back for another round of randy dandy DJ's silliness here on WOFT, Old Fart's Radio. My name is Harry Handy (as if you didn't know that), twisting tongues and pleasing girls...at least until my ex-wife found out. This is sort of how I became a rambling man . Yes, ladies and gents, I was that guy Harry Chapin talked about in his song, trolling the clubs after hours, trying to play kickball with the girls. (And there are no ugly girls) I'd wouldn't let them kick my balls, though. Well, the ex found out and kicked them anyway. During all this, I found out I was quite illiterate. But I read a lot of legal mumbo jumbo. Things about child support and cost of the court. Oh, I'll admit Ol' Harry deserved his spanking, but he wished it was in any room but a courtroom. I would have been such a good boy....(A walk!. I wanna go for a walk!) When it was all over, I needed extra bread to cover her place AND mine. A friend of...

“Sanity is a madness put to good uses.” -George Santayana Sanity and Insanity, Joy and Sorrow, Two sides of a coin. One lost without the other. But what is heads Or tails? Didn’t fit in Something deeper? Made a supplication to Hertha so man would experience childbirth? We should be fitter Healthier More productive Slower and more calculated No chance of escape. Air guitar solo Imitation climax Nothing accomplished Nothing gained Everything is show. ````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Topic (Insanity is)- Sallon Newlove Pic- Brian Dewald Pic Guesses-Air Guitar (in blog) solo (in blog), imitation climax (in blog), simulated, burlesque rock, CC, Do me,