Thursday, July 11, 2013

Talk Show (Blogophilia 20.6)

....and welcome back. [Host grabs a sip from the mug on the desk.]

Our next guest is very special and well known to our studio audience.  Please welcome Another Government Employee! 

[He bounds out from behind the curtain.  The audience bursts out in applause]

Good to see you again, AGE. [Shaking hands and offering the first seat on the couch]

Same to you, Chris.

It's been a while since you have been on the program.  Anything fascinating in the Master of the Universe's world?

Well, as you know, I really am a fraud these days.  I left Government Service a while back...[audience hoots and hollers] regain my sanity [more hoots]. Yeah, Yeah, I know.  Like THAT would ever happen...  And now I work along the regular Proles doing pretty much the same work as before.  And I get paid better for it.

I'm sure that was kind of a culture shock, not worrying about the next call.

Not as much as I thought, Chris. You know, I found I was more relaxed.  When you spend your days dealing with failed lawyers and other attention whores, it saps your very soul.  You become so deluded that you believe you ARE the most important person in the world. And that really is what they want us to think.

When we all know you aren't

Right you are, Chris. And another thing.  Have you noticed all the subliminal messages around?  No?  Well, that is something else the leaders don't want you to notice.  They are all out for total mind control.  Here's an example.  I went to this local chain restaurant specializing in Greek food.  Never been their in my life and I decided to try it.  On the wall there was a poster with a brief history of the business. I read it and all off sudden, I'm thinking Fresh, Simple and Tasty. [makes a face] Why was I thinking that? Then I realized those words were printed on the poster  with a different font.  It's mind control, I tell ya.

..And not too much time in our Green Room? [big wink to the audience]

Weeellll... Oh, what's this?  [AGE reaches for a decorated straw doll] Looks like a Christmas Elf.

That is a Winter Harvest Dolly.  Dolly Parton left it last night to give the show good luck.  She has added it to the stuff she sells at her concerts.

Really?  But it's set up all wrong.  If it is Dolly, shouldn't it bow out in the front? [audience snickers]

I think she's trying to play down that aspect.  These days, they are playing down. [Screams erupt] 

You know you are going to Hell for that.

Yes.  And on that note it's time to say good night.  Have a good night!  [Band starts closing song.  Audiences applauds wildly]


  1. Loved it to bits...I think you really SHOULD be a guest...this dialogue is better than some of the real guests'--some of them seem to freeze up like a deer in the headlights...others seem to have infused themselves with some sort of chemical courage & ramble a mile a minute. Loved this and how you used the prompts! Demme ;-)

    1. I went to a Tonight Show taping back in the Carson years and saw some guest freeze up. Johnny was a master at getting them to loosen up. Not too many hosts are good at it.

  2. First!!!!

    Mind control by the government..... who knew, lol?

    Now that is another creative twist on the corn dolly, I'll bet she sells them in Dollywood as well. ;)

    1. aahhhaa..... Demme beat me to it, lol! :D

    2. Oh, I guarantee she would. If nothing else, that woman knows how to make money.

  3. oh ok - always wondered who the master of the universe was. Now I know. So can I ask a wee favour.....

  4. Haha Well, I guess I will see you in Hell!

    8 points Earthling! :)


  5. If TV talks shows were really this good, I would watch them.

    signed: Myke


  6. Never had much control over my own mind, so maybe its okay if someone does?? It would be an interesting balance if nothing else


    1. It's like herding cats, really. There is always one part that wants to jump off a cliff or something.

  7. Amusing write Christopher!