Thursday, June 7, 2012
Your Oldies Radio (Blogophilia 15.5)
It’s a bright good morning here on WOFT, Old Fart’s Radio. I’m Harry Handy, your randy dandy radio host. Have you had your Metamucil today? Good. Here, we spin songs so old, they really should be science experiments. Moldy and goldy.
We had a programming meeting here at the station. We call them “Come to Jesus” meetings because our Station Manager sounds like Jimmy Swaggart in a motel room with a stripper. All fire and brimstone. But, I digress. The meeting really was about adding more energy here at the Old Fart, because our ratings are lousy except for the over 50 demographic. But that fits. The Colonoscopy Contingent. You and me and everyone else that still uses this outdated technology called terrestrial radio.
Speaking of fire, here is song about that very subject….
…And that was, of course, the Little Bastard himself…
Every now and then, we get calls. Yes, real land line telephone calls, from listeners out there wanting us to play them a memory. They aren’t really sure how it goes. Oh, you know the rest. After all, we are the Old Farts. There isn’t enough Ginko in the world that can reverse it. It is all in propinquity with getting older.
And like most Farts, we have risen from the fire on more one occasion. Which leads us into the next song.
They talking about what? The Judgment Day in the year 9595? Oh, we aren’t going anywhere any time soon. You see, they didn’t tell you. Ratings don't matter and we are never getting cancelled. We have already passed over to the next world. We are the Phoenix rising, but we can’t fly anywhere. Because there is nowhere to fly to. Anyway, your punishment has been decided and the boss want this bellweather on continuous loop for the next 1000 years. So, relax and enjoy. Or not.