Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Board Meeting (Blogophilia 37.9)
In the Board Room of Devil’s Quill Corporation outside Arlington VA, A special Board of Directors meeting has been called. Lucifer J Beezlebub, CEO, resplendent in a new red suit, approaches the podium.
“Good Morning, Ladies and Gentlemen. I’m glad all of you were able to take the time for this meeting on such a short notice. Things are progressing quickly and it is important to bring you up to date on our latest initiative “Nixon Two, Electric Boogaloo.”
As you are aware, I brought Richard on board from Seraph’s Ice Fields because of his unique technical ability in the field of political subterfuge. Well, the sands of time are just about up and I want Richard to detail out where we have been and where we are now.”
Smatters of applause come from around the table as the ashen faced skeletor walks up. Wiping his brow as he adjusts his blue tie, he clears his throat.
“Thank you, Mr. Beezelbub. Nice tie. Thor’s hammer over Prometheus’ fire becomes the suit.”
Beezelbub smiles and nods at the flattery. Without missing a beat, Nixon continues.
“Anyway, if you haven’t met me yet, my name is Richard Milhous Nixon. When I was on the other side, I built a reputation for political manipulation and character assassination. From the House Un-American Activities Committee, through the tangles with the Kennedy’s and the swindle with the Chinese, I became the man everyone loved to hate. I made and broke many politician’s careers, even mine twice. If it weren’t for those meddling kid reporters picking up on my little burglary, the second one wouldn’t have happened and I would have completed the consolidation of my empire. But things happen and is fire under the bridge.”
“Devil’s Quill was tasked by Maker Industries sometime back with subverting the US political system to allow for an opportunity to make some changes in the overall structure of the world. Maker was also very concerned certain elements in the political class had forgotten who really was in charge.”
“As previously mentioned, I was actively involved with the project when I was on the other side. During this time quite a bit of progress was made. The last phase we completed started out wonderfully with the collapse of the Soviet Empire and the end of the Berlin Wall, which brought about some interesting population migrations. But Ronnie Raygun made a few mistakes that weren’t caught and by the time we realized what happened, they had festered to the point where no sane man wanted to take the till of the project.”
“A few years before I came on board, a raw recruit suggested some of Esau’s descendants could be riled up with a promise of returning to the old days where men were men and women were property. It took a few tries, but a combination of Ronnie’s mistakes and a couple of rogue rich kids allowed Devil’s Quill to make the most of this opportunity. A couple of well placed diversions were designed. They were so good it almost got the first Bush to take the bait, but he backed out. Bill Clinton was a little bit smarter, but we finally goaded him into wasting some time in Bosnia, but not with the result desired.”
“It was at this time I was given the opportunity to transfer from Cocytus. Frankly I was happy to be away from my supervisors, Hitler and Stalin. They bickered all day over who was more evil. They both felt they deserved more than this, while I did the work keeping politicians buried at the right height for their sins. It got quite tiresome. But again, it was more ice under the bridge.”
“I started by giving one of the Rich Kids, Osama Bin Laden, an opportunity to work in the Amway system. As you are aware, this is one of our most effective disinformation distribution channels. It allows for evil thoughts to be disseminated through a chain without the people, who we refer to as links, having access to the whole story. Bin Laden took what he learned home and built one of the finest multi-lines ever, spanning multiple countries and several competing sects of Islam. His organization skills were outstanding and I expect to see him called again for projects in the future. With Bin Laden’s work, we were able to lay some irresistible bait for the second Bush, who I knew from working with the family on the other side, was a gullible sap. As predicted, he jumped higher than a trained monkey when the planes hit. There was collateral damage to our agents, but the acidic aftermath set the stage for what we’ve accomplished.”
“The whole purpose of this exercise was to remove all traces of faith in anything the world offers. Whatever the image a man has of something, it will be wrong. If someone is powerful, they are one of us. It has been that way since the sands of time began and most thinking men know it. But for the distracted sheep of all generations, the curtain must be lifted just enough to them to know.”
“Over the last two years, my team has engineered one of the largest diversionary attacks ever attempted on the humans. Pablo Picasso, the Denizen of Third Rings, stated it ‘Everything you can imagine is real’ Using their own communications systems, we have foisted two unsuitable candidates while completely obscuring their real backgrounds. Maker Industries has used this technique themselves over the years, most notably at Babel, when it was though humans were thinking too highly of themselves. At this point, no individual can tell whether the man or the woman is a spy for the enemy. Confusion of the masses leads to fear, then to subjugation. We expect over the next few years, our human sorting capabilities are going to be stressed as events play out. But our teams are more than ready to accept the challenge.”
“I know our small effort is only a piece in a much larger puzzle that even we, as Demons and Quality Assurance agents, are not privy to. But I can say with confidence, Devil’s Quill will prove itself worthy of anything asked of it, and I am both humbled and flattered that your confidence is still with me.”
As Nixon steps down, two dancers in Hula garb places leis around his neck. The group dances and swirls down the aisle to the Piña Colada song as the brimstone rain begins to fall.
Pic Guesses: Dancers (in blog), Lei (in blog) Hula (in blog), Tropical, Swirling, Souvenir, Kitsch, Tacky.