Tuesday, July 31, 2012
The latest from London
“…we interrupt our program: ‘Macy*s Sweet Tweets for Olympic Feet’ for this special news bulletin. Reporting from London is correspondent Mano Blanick. Mano…”
“Jack, it is pandemonium here on fashion forward Carnaby St. A vending machine dispensing white Olympic trainers for no cost has appeared overnight in front of the Office London shoe shop. Secretaries and admins from all over the Financial District have flocked to the apparition. It appears they are rebelling against the four inch heels demanded by their superiors. Nearby Asian Nail salons have also shown a marked decrease it their business due to this outrage”.
“As the Ladies speculate on the pros and cons of no cost shoe shopping, their studs can be found drowning their financial sorrows at the Kingly Club. There is a rumor that a local Black Widow is taking advantage of this situation, and there are dead bodies scattered throughout the area. The smart lads have started in at the Florists, looking for buds so they won’t look like cruds to these overanxious ladies”.
“…Wait… It looks like there is a new development…
It appears the trainers come with an accessory. The Ladies excitement is growing…. It appears to be a long, slender object. Not sure, but it looks like One of those things bought in a naughty novelty shop. And it appears some of the girls aren’t waiting to use them. Oh, my! Are we in New Orleans? Oh, the lads aren’t going to be pleased with this “
“Let’s see if we can get some feedback. Miss! Could you spare a moment? What was your reaction to seeing this machine?”
“Oh, Mano. It was heaven on earth! Everyone knows that shoes are better than men. They look cute and you don’t have to pick up after them. Well, actually, you do have to pick them up, but they smell so nice. And it even came with the stimulator like a shoe horn. I love it.”
“How many pairs do you think you will come away with?”
“That is a rude question, Mano. The two things you never ask a woman are her age and how many shoes she has."
“Well, there you have it. Men just might have been replaced by pieces of leather. Back to you, Jack…”