Bar (Blogophilia 2.50)



Bar
Old wood waiting
For the next Customer
On the rocks

Glass
Crystalline cubes
Beckon to soothe
A hurting soul

Amber
Liquid spills down
Chilling the hammer
Chasing memories

Of
Love lost like
Eighty percent. 
All alone

Barmaid
Takes pity
And makes him
Among her twenty.



Comments

  1. liamMarch 7, 2012 at 5:44 PM

    gret read. i like the way u did the 80/20 thing.

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    Replies
    1. Another Government EmployeeMarch 7, 2012 at 6:08 PM

      I had a hard time finishing this one. It finally just did come out right.

      Delete
  2. AnonymousMarch 7, 2012 at 6:32 PM

    You nailed it so well with the topic and prompts for the hurting soul of love lost.

    Michelle K

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  3. UnknownMarch 7, 2012 at 8:00 PM

    Nicely done Chris! The last line nailed what a bar mostly is.

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  4. AnonymousMarch 7, 2012 at 8:41 PM

    How wonderfully written this was...great job!
    DEMME

    ReplyDelete
  5. tobyjustMarch 8, 2012 at 4:23 AM

    I have to agree with you Christopher .. barmaids have their own counselling methods at a time when their needed the most...
    plus the watering hole is very often the only place you can go where everyone knows your name....
    plus drowning your sorrows never works.. but its always worth a try ... been there got the hat worn the T shirt... lol...
    loved the way you just slid into the subject nice and easy.. brilliant read...

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  6. sharonleeMarch 8, 2012 at 4:53 AM

    Nicely woven Christopher...

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  7. AnonymousMarch 8, 2012 at 6:47 AM

    Yes indeed - although I might prefer my liquid clear - the truth is the same

    TM

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  8. sueMarch 8, 2012 at 10:23 AM

    Well done especially the 80/20 (the principle does not really make sense) I like how you broke it up - wood, glass etc

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    Replies
    1. Another Government EmployeeMarch 8, 2012 at 7:52 PM

      The adage is that 80% of the [blank] comes from 20% of the [blank2]. It seems to apply to all sorts of things: wealth, complaints, work, etc.

      On the poem, I started with Scotch on the Rocks, then morphed to Love on the Rocks. Both can be found in most bars. so...

      Delete
  9. AnonymousMarch 8, 2012 at 9:14 PM

    8 points Earthling! :) I have placed elbows on that bar and swirled the amber as it tickled the cubes. I don't believe I made it to the barmaid's 20 :(

    Great work with the topics!
    Marvin Martian

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  10. Colleen Keller BreuningMarch 9, 2012 at 9:36 PM

    Ahhhh, this is an excellent poem that teems with great imagery and heartfelt loss. Love the way you wove in your topics, very unique!

    I'll take a glass of Clos du Bois Cabernet..... cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousMarch 10, 2012 at 12:52 AM

    I picture you as the bartender, all the Blogophiliacs raising their glasses to you in a toast! Bravo!

    Joanie

    ReplyDelete

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