A Post Holiday Call (Blogpophilia 21.15)

 


In the call center outside Dallas TX...

Rrring!

Good Day to you and thank you for calling Devil's Quill, Gluttony Central. My name is Big Bertha. How may I help you? You want to gift your skinny sister a new body? Are you sure you don't want the Petty Jealousy division? You say she force fed you stuffing and cranberry sauce and kept all the pumpkin pie for herself? Let me patch in a couple of people. Hold, Please.

Rring...

"Wrath Division, Sandy speaking."

"I've got a suc...er... client on the phone where we can get a two-fer. You have time to sit in?

"Sure."

"Hello. Thank you for holding. I have Sandy from our Wrath division and he's going be able to help your issue. 

"Bertha tells me you were stuffed with stuffing and cranberry sauce and you want revenge how? To stuff her? Hmmm... Let me pull the records....Oh, my. Lot's of lust and envy there. It looks like she did  this to snag your husband. Oh, you say they have been having an affair? Let me update the fine."

"Sandy, I think this calls for our 'Dessert Package."

"Yes, indeed it does. This entails a trip to a candy factory where they get molded for all time. We'll get you set up right away and thank you for thinking of Devil's Quill."

[Click]

"Bertha, are you still on line."

"Yes."

"That package is for all three of them. Our caller lied about knowing about the affair."

"Got it. I have the table for three all ready."


Topic-Holiday Jealousy

Hard Prompt:Include a candy factory

Easy Prompt: Stuffing


Comments

  1. BlogophiliaNovember 25, 2023 at 7:35 PM

    Ha! That serves her right, keeping the pumpkin pie all to herself! Love the Devil's Quill series. This one is extra delicious LOL! KUDOS Earthling!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In Honor of Al Jaffee

The image below is probably the most politically incorrect graphic the great comic artist Al Jaffee ever produced. Originally published in a special issue of MAD magazine in 1971, it brought protests for its seeming disrespectful tone. It even launched a brief FBI investigation into possible political subversion.  So, why am I bringing it up? 2 reasons. First, Mr. Jaffee just celebrated his 95th birthday. Second, In all of the turmoil of the Election, it is important that the pledge be for all people. Not just the moneyed elite. More importantly, to weed out infection the poisons of bigotry by all people need to be aired. Burying thoughts and ideas through euphemisms and language discussion allow the opinions to fester. The quote "Just because you silence a man does not mean you convert him" very much applies. Donald Trump has made efforts to silence his critics. His critics have made a double effort to silence. him. And nothing gets done.
Read more

The Date (Blogophilia 13.5)

So, here she was at Manuel’s, her usual fifteen minutes early.   A quick glance to make sure the lipstick line was still straight.   Satisfied, the compact disappeared into the leather purse.   Kari hadn’t been this nervous meeting anyone in quite a long time.   But then, it had been at least 20 years since she had been on a blind date.   What will he look like?   All Mary told her was he was a bachelor with a paying job and no kids.    Nothing about how old, or whether he was a slob or a crackhead.   Not even the guy’s name.   Only that she thought Kari would enjoy his company.     Just be at there at 5:30. Sipping on her gimlet, it seemed like she had never left.   The Musak was mostly Sinatra and the political types still hung to their tables like they were still in high school.   Tony, the manager, gave her a peck when he saw her and said she could come back to work any time.   No.   She’d had enough of slinging swill and dealing with the obnoxious, of stepping over the hoo
Read more