Back in the Call Center (Blogophilia 14.28)
RRrring!
Good Day, and welcome to Devil's Quill Communications. My name is Jezebel. How may we serve you today? Your Husband did what? Brought his new girlfriend over while you were changing the baby? My, isn't he the cheeky one? Oh, she handled the Flood Tide for you? That was nice. But then she wanted to clean everybody up? Including you? Hmm... Sounds like you might have a problem there and I think we might have the solution. Our "Hell Hath No Fury" package. In it, we provide personal lubricant spiked with chili peppers, a marital aid that doesn't turn off when used, and a webcam with an app for you to enjoy the festivities. We'll have those two worn down to germ when we get through. In my experience, it is great fun. In addition, I can include a 1:24 scale model of our golden calf for proud display in your home. All for the low, low price of an Age and an Epoch in Purgatory.
What about just chucking Missy through the window? Where exactly do you live? 36th floor overlooking the beach? Gee, that hits a little close to home, but we could add that for an extra charge of Permanent Involuntary Servitude. You don't mind? Great, you kill two birds with one stone, show hubby who's boss, and assure your afterlife. We're delighted to help and we look forward to you joining our team in the near future.
Have a good day.
Bwahaha - I just choked on my coffee!! I love it, Jezebel recommending the "Hell Hath No Fury" package. Gotta love when you bring back Devil's Quill. KUDOS, Earthling!
ReplyDeleteI could think of no better representative.
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