Stumbling In (Blogophilia 14.17)

 Ha. I made it home. And I didn't trip up the stairs.

Damn, it was a great party. Lots of booze, weed, and girls dressed as witches. I think one of them slapped me, but I'm not sure.

Should I have slept it off up there? Well, yeah. But the girl's roommate said I had to go, so I did. Oh, I could have crashed in the car, but security came and said they were calling the cops. I did kill a little time at Dunkin, but coffee only goes so far. I was still seeing double when I left.

The drive home was a blur. Who was that dude I picked up?  The question is not what you look at, but what you see. Doesn't matter. I wasn't too big a danger to him anywho.

Three locks...I'll take door number two. Congratulations! You have won entrance to your own dumpy apartment! I throw the jacket toward the hook, but it crumples over the cat. It took a minute, but his black form struggled out

"Meow."

"Ev'nin...What do you want?"

I eat a few Pumpkin Spice Batons scattered on the table. They're kind of stale, but they'll do. 

"Meow."

"Oh, right. Food."  I knock over the cookie tin. Eh, I'll clean it up later. 

"You know I'm the only pussy you're getting tonight?"

"Huh?" Turning back to the door, I only see one cat. 

It hops on the counter and looks me dead in the eye. "That's right, big boy. Give me the tuna on the counter and I'll talk."

This is a new experience, so high animals talk to me. I pick up the can.  

"Now, open it."

Popping the top. I look at the wall mirror to see if someone is behind the door. No dice. This is getting spooky.  Quickly, I dump it into the bowl. it doesn't eat right away, preferring to turn the butt into my face, making sure the tail runs up my nose. He turns back around and begins to rub against my jaw.

"You know you drink too much." 

I don't know what to say. He's right, of course. I've been that way for years. 

"I've been watching you ever since you brought me home." The cat continued. as he ate dinner,  "You always chase your mates like most of my kind, not caring what happens. The result is like tonight. You are alone."

I couldn't disagree. I sunk down on the couch and Furball climbed into my lap. 

"Now, I get to comfort you and get you to sleep. Ever thought about treating people better?"

"Who are you to talk about how to treat people. You leave hairballs on the floor."

"They are to get your attention." The eyes blinked. "The Chick who left those human treats in the tin you're eating. She was nice and scratched my ears and you got mean and chased her away."

"Your point?" I absently scratch the belly. It turned and lightly bit my hand. 

"Maybe if you quit self medicating and be nicer,  maybe one of those will fix us breakfast and I won't have to hear you complain about your headache."

"You'd steal her because she thinks your cute."

The pink nose met mine.

"Then, you would have nothing." The purring started. "Now, lie down. I want to go to sleep."