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Showing posts from February, 2020

Ode to Joy Rewrite (Blogophilia 49.12)

The red convertible’s big V-8 roared down the Turnpike. The needle was inching near 100 with the joyous sounds of Beethoven blasting into the darkness. Trashcoast Parkway was fading into the rearview on this starry, starry night. The El Dorado was a congratulation present for me, a land yacht befitting a successful guy. And the polar opposite of the black Benz I’d been riding in. That was important. No more Mickey, the lifelong dream to stick it to the man had borne fruit. I had perfected a scam, selling vulnerable women the latest super anti-aging cream. The website was a fake, though. A perfect clone of the product original where I gathered more information than their Experian account. The individual accounts were useless to my scam. Sure, there were several million dollars over the thousands of accounts that could have easily converted with no trace. That was chump change, though. I stacked a backtrace virus inside the orders. During another scam, I had found a way to skim frac

The Phone Call (Blogophilia 48.12)

Rrrring Willkomen, Bienvenue and Welcome . This is Devil’s Quill Communications, the finest in Human Quality Control. My name is M.C. How may I help you? Oh, you like the Caberet reference, Mr. Bowles? I’m so glad. Yes, I have your records on my screen now. It says your wife is named Sally and she left you for a writer. We have our sources, Sir. Did we make disease and can we transfer it to Sally? I’m afraid not, Sir. This is intake and we don’t handle those types of requests. If you like, I can transfer you to our Get Even division when we finish. Maybe they could make her a Stripper or something. Cross checking her records, she would make a good show. You want to join our organization as a Convincer? We don’t get direct requests like this often. How did you hear about us? Oh, yes. Jim Baaker IS one of our best sponsors. I’m so glad for the feedback. Yes, it was sad about Tammy Faye, but she got the promotion she was looking for. Back to your original request, may I as