Pride of Lions (Blogophilia 6.11)
"OK, everyone." Marty taps on the mike. "Everybody get something to eat? Good. Let's settle back down."
Acknowledging a question from the back of the room, he nods.
"Yes, you in the back? How did we know you hated gefilte? We have data from everywhere, including from your Grandma." A laugh comes up from the class as the asker chokes down the last morsel of fish. With a click, an organization chart goes up on the screen.
"We are now in the final segment of your basic training. Here is a brief overview of what will happen when we get finished. First, you will be assigned to your groups. Most will start out in the Petty Grievance division. They handle most of the day to day tempting around the world. It's a great place to learn about sin combinations you may have heard about but never experienced. This is the division that got most of you down here. Don't expect to become an expert at any of them. We want generalists, not specialists. They are easier to control."
"A couple of you are destined for Special Projects due to outstanding deviations when you were topside. But even though you came with experience, it still is important to tie it with the overall structure of how DQ gets things done."
"After your probationary period, we'll run final termination codes on the useless and keep those who prove effective. Don't worry about what happens if termination is your final future. You won't be just lying in the fire."
The frame of the catacombs begin to glow as bright as his grin.
"You will always be the bricks and mortar of our operations...so to speak."
"Now, that is out of the way, it is my esteemed pleasure to introduce our final speaker. He really doesn't need any introduction, though. He is our Founder and Chief Demon Office, Mr. Lucious J. Beezlebub. Come on out, Luke!"
The short, red man bounds out with the energy of a young man. His solid red outfit unsinged from the thousands of years of wear.
"Thank you, Marty!" Beezelbub waves as Mammon exits stage left. "Mr. Marty Mammon, Ladies and Gentlemen."
With a snap of his fingers, a glass of good champagne appears and a picture of an opulent lair decorated in a gaudy mix of gold, sienna and red splashes into view. Heat shimmers off the surface. A lion skin rug appears on the floor in front of him, making a gentle purring noise.
"Good Day, everyone. And I truly mean it.”
“In the 5778 years since I founded Devil's Quill, I have been amazed at how our jobs have changed. It used to be all it took to corrupt someone was better food. As time has gone on, Maker Industries has taken our data and advice to improve the scripting of Mortals as they are made around the world. But funny thing, he's never turned off the curiosity switch at the center of the creature."
"The training you have received here has given you various tools that are time tested in turning them to our side. But we have left the best tool for last. You see, when I ran the Snake Script in my hometown of Eden all those years ago, I injected the most insidious bug into in the fruit, Pride. The thought and belief that Mortal knew how he was programmed."
The glass magically refills. After a sip, he strides away from the podium and continues.
"The tree of knowledge was mine, not Maker's. I kept telling him about the flaw, and he kept telling be to prove it." Pausing a beat. "And I did, for all time. He fired me for it, of course. Maker has written scripts to try to fix this error on his own. But he has needed me back time and time again keep you fools in check, since my script was self replicating."
"So, how does Pride work? At its core, it gives a skewed sense of well being, that you are better or more successful than others. A complete vanity and failure, but the average Mortal isn't aware of it. One of our recent additions to the staff here put it like this: 'We [Mortals] don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.'"
"Frankly, the statement was a revelation to us here at Devil's Quill. It crystallized everything the Snake Script has meant all these years. By putting in the Pride component deep in the operating system of Mortal, it keeps the curiosity programming loop open and available for use."
"You might ask, why don't we go to Pride first when we approach a project? You can, but it has been our firm's experience that starting too soon causes some of the Charity error codes, such as kindness and repentance to trigger. And while it is easy to work around this. It is more efficient to use a base sin, such as Lust, to start. Over time those sins subvert all the scripts into a much more lethal and effective turning force, making the target vulnerable."
"Think back on your own Topside experience. The Charity training some of you took made you aware that 'Pride goeth before a Fall' and so forth. Young Mortals that learn this are much better at picking up when they are being manipulated. The lesser, basic sins allow for those discernment scripts to be corrupted, making it easier to puff up the target for conversion."
A final picture of Father Paul goes up. It is at the end of his life. A long, chronic disease has taken its toll.
"Let's talk about Paul here. Just a note, he isn't a real Mortal. Just a composite of of cases we have dealt with since the days of Isaiah. Even so, he has proven to be helpful in conducting this training. As you have seen, he started being 100% on the side of Maker. But as the tests were run, the commitment to the Charity way was worn to a nub. And here he is ready to leave Topside, exhausted after a long and somewhat fruitless life. Maker still gets the first crack at his Soul, though. It is part of the contract we have. But if we Tempers have done our jobs, the prize is ours."
"But even when we have done our best, Maker accepts the 3.16 pass for Mortals. Yes, it is true. Part of the reason for the 3.16 project was to give Maker an out dealing with boderline cases. If he built one with instructions they could follow, maybe he'd get more for his side of the operation. He's always short of personnel."
Paul is shown in the call center for the Guardian Angels angency, DQ's main rival.
"Paul, of course, had taken the pass early on in his Charity training and held on to it until the end. Now he is working his penance off trying to keep people from us."
"You will find not everyone who says they have the pass does. And without looking at the records, I know some in the audience are in that group. Goats, rather than sheep as the passage goes. It's almost impossible to tell , but it is always to your benefit to assume an assigned case is a goat. If they turn out otherwsie, we won't hold it against you...much."
The champagne is finish in one last chug.
"In closing, let me wish you good fortune as you do your tasks. Your one hundred year probation starts now."
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Topic-My Hometown-Michael Todd
Pic guesses-Pride of Lions (in blog), lying (in blog), Lion skin rug (in blog), in the jungle, wemoweh, lazy afternoon.
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