Demon Training (Blogophilia 52.10)

Since it’s been a while since I wrote a Devil’s Quill piece, it will help if you read this first. http://anothergovernmentemployee.blogspot.com/2016/03/new-employee-orientation-blogophila-39.html

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[Back in the conference room outside Dallas, Tx. Marty is nattily dressed in a red blazer with a gold open collared shirt. He steps up to podium and looks out at the junior demons. A wicked grin spreads across his face]

Good Day, Everyone. Please settle down.

[With a quick clearing of the throat, a puff of smoke quickly surrounds his head.]

If you don't remember, my name is Marty Mammon and I have been assigned as the lead instructor for your Devil's Quill training. Every have their manuals? Good. Can't be a good Demon Troll without the play book.

[A projection screen slides down behind him. With a clicker, he begins a PowerPoint show]

Over the next several sessions, we will demonstrate basic and expert level deceptions to get Mortal Souls to stray from their assigned path and into our assembly lines. While all will stray eventually, it is our interests to accelerate the process to keep the world moving. When this training is finished, you will be equipped to leap the highest of hurdles found in the breaking of mortals.

[He clicks and points back at the screen]

This course is broken into seven parts, each centering around a known human weakness.

Lust (What Lovers Do)

Gluttony (Eat It, or When Is All is Not Enough)

Greed and Avarice (More! More! More!)

Sloth (Not What You Think it Is)

Wrath (Daddy's Got a Gun)

Envy (Unfair!)

Pride (Blind Me to the World or I’m Maker)

[Turning back toward the class]

You'll notice I opened this class with the term "Good Day", rather than Morning, Evening or what ever. You see, here at the great DQ, we asked ourselves whether time was irrelevant. Frankly, it doesn't exist. Time is artificial construct created by humans as they watched Maker’s light swing back and forth in the cosmic breeze. In their silliness, Mortals attributed it to Maker, who didn’t mind the attention. But the cycle concept still rose from the curiosity trait Mr. Beezlebub first exploited back in the Garden of Eden, and we have continued to use until today.

[He points to a grizzled female trainee]

Question? Why do I still use "Good"? I have to admit, it is oxymoron. But niceties are kept here at DQ because it makes our jobs as tempters easier by keeping up the charm.Mortals like sugar better than fire, you see. It also reminds us even though Maker Industries is our parent corporation, they are also our largest competitor in soul quality assurance. Their goal is to have souls to show their better sides when faced with adversity. Ours, of course, is just the opposite. And to date, with only a few exceptions every generation, our methods win out over time. But when we are not careful, the process takes much longer than necessary.

[He clicks a new slide into place]

Each of the lessons presented are designed allow the Tempter to assess cases for difficulty and create combinations providing maximum damage. The goal always is to pull the beast out and tamp down any guardian or angelic tendencies. Adjustments in processes are made as times change. Way back, our workers found some Mortals in life's race were impervious to Lust, for example. But when they were exposed to Greed and Envy, they turned over right away.

[A slide showing the snowy Wisconsin countryside comes up]

Wrath has been particularly effective in weeding out the weak minded. Most of you have heard of Hitler and Stalin, but you will learn the most effective uses are on a smaller scale. One of my direct subordinates, Sandy Skinner, worked with a Mortal here in Plainfield [pointing again to the screen] who became a legend for depravity. Using Lust as an opening, he was able to elevate anger to heights not seen in eons. Even Mr. Beezelbub was impressed with the lampshade and matching gloves. I know I cautioned you about not trying to be a Rising Star. But Sandy did receive a promotion to a lead trainer thanks to his out of the box idea. He'll present the lesson on Wrath later on.

[The screen bursts into flame, ending up as white ash on the floor]

But no matter the process, Mortals always turn. And with some of the new technology available from our Global Mass Media division, the delivery is easier than ever. Some of you here today were identified through our latest product, Facebook and its offshoot, Twitter. They are the best Pride and Envy tools seen in many days. I look forward to working with Mr. Zuckerbug when he finishes this event and returns to the Main Office. He’s got a lot of stories to tell, and maybe he’ll even be able to enlighten you in the future.

[Pointing at an impossibly young man]

Another question? Is the job ever done? No, there is never a finish line. I've been here nearly 1000 years and I have never failed to find another challenge. You'll climb walls and do flips, but the process goes on until you turn to ash like the screen behind me, which will be in about 2000 years.

Happy Tempting!

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Pic (Is Time Irrelevant?) Dave Coon

Hard Prompt (Maroon 5-What Lovers Do)

Easy Prompt (Plainfield Wisconsin)

Pic- Jay Sole

Pic Guesses: Moving (in blog), Hurdles (in blog), race or life’s race (in blog) finish line (in blog), elevate (in blog), heights (in blog), Climb walls (in blog), Do Flips (in blog), event (in blog), Perform, Olympic, Parkour, Street fighter, Urban Hiker.