Fake News (Blogophilia 48.10)
This deal just won’t quit. I wasn’t planning on freelancing just yet, but I can’t resist. And anytime I can get scoop over Todd, it’s worth it.
Slipping around the side of the broadcast van to keep the rug from flying off my head, I reach for the beer. Crap. Left it on the bar. Maybe I can signal the mail man from behind this tree here in the middle of the garden. Hmm, looks like they are still talking. She is a cute kitty. Wait a minute, that looks more like play time. Beasley single, right? Probably thinks it’s overtime pay.
Why couldn’t I have been in the money like that with Bo Peep? I could have had one of those wayward lambs. They’re brighter than the bubble headed bleach blondes I work with at the station. Oh, wait. I’m not employed there anymore.
That’s probably for the best right now. How Beasley loses his innocence isn’t my business and I don’t have time to wait.
I hear a commotion on the other side of the van.
Coming back around the corner, I see Grimes threatening Blue Dude with his baton, trying to get the flight info on the spaceship. He’s watched too many movies. Sugar attracts ants, not vinegar. Not even thinking, I take the stick and toss it over to Trevor, while Dave retreated inside the broadcast van.
“Hold your horses, Chief. You’re not going to get info from a smashed mouth.”
Grimes looked under his fedora like he wanted to kill me.
“This is your fault. If you hadn’t been meddling...”
“Chief, I’m not Fred, I don’t have a cute girl, and I hate dogs. I don’t even have a crazy van. You know that.” I put a hand on his slumping shoulder. The grizzled old cop looked like he had aged a hundred years. “But I have to admit, I never knew when I am doing something, it was affecting someone else.”
I left him and went over to Todd.
“Do you get the feeling this is all fake news?”
Rubbing his stubble, he replied:
“I’ve seen a lot of stuff over the years, but this story has a life of it’s own. Oh, sorry about you getting fired. I’ve got a couple those stories in my background.”
Do tell....
I had to take the opportunity to read this again. Your segments are so entertaining.
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