Riding Home (Blogophilia 8.7)
Jeremy became more alert in the cool
night air. The Toyota hadn’t been towed yet. Breathing in, he felt like a
weight had been lifted from his shoulders. The glow from the Kroger sign warmed
him. He faked calling the taxi; he knew
the bartender was going to take his keys. And he need time to think on
how exactly to bring the ascendant swine down to their appointment with the
butcher.
The image of the car bomb blinked silently
in his mind. Twisted metal shredding bodies. "In Kandahar, a
car bomb was detonated in front of a local police station…" . The words
came out involuntarily. Echolalia, he thought. Common among the
autistic and epileptic was what the article at the hospital had said.
Didn't someone say he was autistic at some point? The doctors never could
agree on what they thought of him. And he didn't care. The reaction
voiced what was inside.
He wondered if Kandahar could be replaced
with Sandy Springs, Dunwoody or Atlanta. All the authoritarian pigs who
had bugged him for being a crazy drunk? After all, isn't that what those
crazy people over there are doing? Striking out against the pain and unfairness
of this life?
It took three tries to put the key in the
lock. Maybe the taxi would be a good idea? Nah, he'd get some chatty
Indian dude that smelled like last week's curry. Not that he hated
them. They were pawns struggling against the system like everyone
else. But anyone like that would be a potential informant and he didn't
want to expose anything too early. Finally, the door opened and he
spilled into the smooth cloth seat. He started the car and turned out on Hammond Drive.
The car had been Mother’s. He didn’t miss
her, but her death did let him have a few things, like the car. Beige and
bland, it melted seamlessly onto the suburban Atlanta street. Nothing
about it stood out and he liked that, especially since there was no other
traffic. Too much attention had been paid to him already, especially by the
police. Flipping on the radio, he found the oldies station.
"Hey, Heidy and Howdy… It's Harry Handy,
your randy, dandy late night DJ keeping you company here on 96.2 FM-WOFT, Old
Fart's Radio. Radio for the Geritol Generation, still doing it after all these
years…
Mother said to him many times she wished
she had the abortion. He was evil, pure and simple. But he did have
his uses in taking care of her disabled sister. Aunt Sarah would spill
things on the kitchen floor and Mother would make him clean it up by
hand. He still had scars on his knees from the blisters. He was
diligent and when he would finish, the grout was a white as when it was first
installed. Mother never acknowledged that.
For you lonely drunks out there,
and you know who you are, here's one from the 1960's… B.J. Thomas' Hooked On A
Feeling...
Once in a while, Aunt Sarah would have
him help with her baths. Jeremy didn't mind because this was the
only human touch he ever got. He would guide her into the tub from her
crutches in silence and turn the water on.
The wet curly hair and alabaster skin scented with floral soaps bought a
little pleasure. Sarah was highly allergic to most flowers and there were never
any in the house. Mother didn’t like them anyway.
When they would finish, he would towel off
her backside carefully, following the exaggerated curve her back. He would
knead the stiff muscles until they were pliable, and then hand her the towel to
complete the front. Sarah's cat would
watch this from the top of the commode, amused at the process.
Once, he reached too low between her
legs as he washed. She slapped him hard enough to leave
a mark and left with no explanation. He was stunned, and never repeated the
move. Mother stopped the baths after he began to be aroused. It was just
too dangerous and she couldn't afford another mistake.
Mother's scent lingered in the car, mocking
his thought process.
So, are you hooked on your significant
other's feeling? No? Here is a fan favorite..Drivin' and Crying,
"Straight to Hell".
He thought back to thefire. Conflagration
filled his mind. He could see the
matches...a gasoline can, leaving the house, seemingly on a cloud. Flames
licking up from the basement windo. Did he really do that? Then an image of
Sarah's cat, with all the fur totally charred off the small body came to his
mind. He remembered crying over it at the time. The cat was the only
thing in the house that ever showed him any affection. Now, it was just a
frozen memory.
After the fire, he spent a very long time
in a padded, windowless room with two large, smelly men with rolled up sleeves.
The walls were stained where people had made contact. Were they slammed up
against it? The men badgered him
mercilessly about what had happened. As they wrote notes on their
clipboards, they left the impression was he was going to go away for a long
time. The handcuffs hurt his wrists. He knew he was going to get his
revenge at some point.
…For you Nikon
enthusiasts, I have a special treat, Paul Simon live singing Kodachrome…
And now he may have a plan.
Is it appropriate for me to feel sorry for him? I'll have to read again
ReplyDeleteI think he can be sympathetic. Another angry, broken man-child wanting to lash out.
DeleteYou wrote this perfectly.....the balance between mental illness's delusions and sympathy for his past.
ReplyDeleteAgree with Steven's comment, perfect balance. Gettting sucked into this story and where it might be headed.
DeleteComplicated is the mind of Jeremy. U am thinking that the challenges he puts before himself keeps his drive alive.
ReplyDelete8 points Earthling! :)
Marvin
Correction to my above statement: U should be I
DeleteMarvin
Crazy real and not done yet I hope
ReplyDeleteNot done.
DeleteBad to the bone? Or just scarred beyond repair? Powerful writing! (demme)
ReplyDeleteI lean a little towards the latter. Someone so put upon, the only thing to do is lash out.
Deletepretty nice blog, following :)
ReplyDelete