Newscast (Blogophilia 50.5)

“…And that was Heather Hardon reporting…”

“This just in. People everywhere have turned out to protest the bill the State Legislature requiring the implementation of Christ’s Second Law, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.  Let’s go to our Justin Tyme for an update.  Justin?”

“Yes, Harry.  It’s pandemonium out here at the State Capitol. It is as if Mars Attacks being played out on the steps. The Nosy Women’s League, long the enemy of joy and contentment has said it is against Biblical Principles for men to love themselves.  There have been rumors the ladies are planning some kind of action, but we haven’t seen that yet. We went around asking people in the crowd to voice their opinions.  Could you roll that tape, please?

”[small pause]

 

(A primly dressed woman in a high necked blouse appears on screen)  “What is it with this Life of Brian nonsense?  Men loving each other?  It sounds like a one of those movies we are trying to ban.  Anger at enemies is what runs this society.  To assume anything else is complete flight of fancy. ”

(Next is a large black man in a Hugo Boss suit) “Love Whitey?  He’s done nothing but enslave and kill us and many other peoples. Ever see Birth of a Nation? And this silliness of love thy neighbor?  Only if they are one of us. “  

(Finally, a little kid comes on the screen) “In Sunday School, teacher talks about suffering little children.  I think I understand, now.” 

[another small pause]

“Yes, Harry, it is crazy down here.  Oh, look.  The National Guard has come.  And they are in full riot gear.  What’s that, Sir?  I’m under arrest?  For what?  Hey! That’s the station’s camera…”