A.G.E's Joint

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. It is ME! Harry Handy, your handy dandy old time DJ here on WOFT.  Always here for you Geritol Guys and Miralax Gals.  And being of Geritol age, we ask "What, Nephew, is that wind at the door".  I am, of course, talking about that legend of legends, Mr. Casey Kasem, who found the stars finally this week.  I can hear you ladies say "Please say it isn't so." But like all of us, his contract here on earth was cancelled. Like most of us vinyl pushers, I looked at Casey as a role model. Someone to structure my schtick by.  Here is a good example of the man in action: No sloth in that man. Every week, his pride and lust for popular music shown in his voice and demeanor.  Tightly structured, the show moved from song to song effortlessly.  There were always rumors he was on Capitol or Columbia's payroll. But his audience never paid that any mind. He was also a well known voice over artist. Everyone knows his most famous char...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy! It's Harry Handy on WOFT. I'm the randiest, dandiest D.J. in all oldies radio and I'm here to fuel your Geritol dreams. Dreams of long ago and far away, when you were sixteen and stupid. What's that you say? You weren't stupid? So, give me your answer to this. Yep. your past is NEVER far from the Google archives.And I am willing to go where no man (or imaginary DJ) has gone before to find it. (And this was the safe for work one). Speaking of Geritol Dreams, if you are man that is older than ol' Harry, you may have lusted after Ann-Margaret. Her red head meant fiery times alone in the dark. The girls hated her because she (along with a lot of others) date Elvis. The guys just wanted her. These days, she likes her privacy, but I'm willing to ignore that. Yes, you were Dazed and Confused. Then you got older. Found a girl and supposedly got wiser. Then you became this song. Now your doctor is telling you to give...

Hey, Hidey and Howdy.  It’s Harry Handy, your randy dandy dead DJ reporting to you from the London Olympics.  Yes, Oldies fans, WOFT has deigned to send yours truly to haunt the ceremonies.  And weren’t those ceremonies haunting?  A thousand years of British history distilled into a three and half days…I mean hours...(it just seemed like days). I understand the American commentary left a bit to be desired.  They could have just hired me.  Now for you colonoscopy denizens, I have been dredging around the music crypt to find stuff that fits.  Since this is the Olympics, I was going to use Theme from Chariots of Fire , but I was beaten to the punch by Rowan Atkinson, the Cad.  He really should be run over by that three wheel car you know.   But I did find something that would fit for the swimming competition. Yeah, night swimming is a lot of fun.  When I was a much younger, good looking guy, I used to throw moon ...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy! Harry Handy, is back on the air! So, how are you, Geritol Generation? Get that iron up, cause we're going to get down here at The Fart. I'm channeling Don Cornelius this week and giving proper respect to those artists rocking our world. That's right we are discovering the soul of SOUL. Put the daisy chains and hibiscus in your hair (the purple offsets the gray wonderfully), and enjoy the ride. I can say without a doubt, if it hadn't been for that music, I'd never be on the radio. Most kids my age listened to the ball games. I listened to the likes of Alley Pat and Night Train Lane. And the music they played! I got caught with the earphone through my shirt because I kept dancing in my seat. And I watch Soul Train over American Bandstand because Don was cool and Dick was not. Since I could play or sing, I played the ones who could and the rest is history. You can't start a show like this without going to the deepest roots of the musi...

"Hey, Heidy and Howdy. It's Harry Handy, your randy dandy late night DJ here on WOFT, old fart's radio, 101.1 on your internet dial. A big shout out to tonight's sponsor, the domestic litigation firm of Slappey and Sadd. If he gets slappy, we'll make him sad...and on that note, more sappy holday tunes..." I clicked off the radio. Can't Christmas be over already? Every song played is super fast tempo, even "Jingle Bells." Like the stores want you to move faster, buy faster and think less. Yeah. Think less sounds about right. The older I grow, the wiser Ebeneezer sounds. Shoot, even Santa's downsized to one Reindeer and he's an undocumented Caribou chased out by the oil fields. How long have I been staring at this screen? 1:45 AM? Facebook is such a time suck. I never did get to those searches on Turtle Boy. But it was fun to find the ex's page. Looks pretty much like I expected her to, kind of pudgy and sad. Just as paranoid as...

Hey, Heidy and Howdy. It’s another beautiful evening here at WOFT, Old Farts Radio.   And your intrepid interpreter of all things cultural, Harry Handy is on the air to get you through this next election. And it appears we are going to need all the help we can get. Honestly, folks.   Have you ever seen a bunch of supposedly grown adults act like such children?   They get down in the puddles of public opinion and fling mud (and other things) at each other in attempt to attract the most attention.    The candidates and their minions might call themselves Elephants and Jackasses, but in reality they are just….   I recently went to Italy with Kathy, my fine, supermodel wife.   We were in Florence and we happened on a game of Calcio Fioretino.   It is a ancient game and an ancestor to modern Rugby.      I was like Deacon Andy Griffith wanting a big orange while I was watching all the fest...