The Morning Status Meeting (Blogophilia 5.17)

 

In the Devil's Quill Conference Room -Arlington VA. Marty Mammon is giving Lucious Beezelbub his weekly update before the rest of the Executive Staff gets in.

"Marty. Have you received the latest report from Topside?"

"Yes, Mister Beezelbub. I'm afraid it's bad news. Zuckerberg, who we have had so much hope for, is slipping in his UX and KPI metrics."

"Marty, I know I'm old, but could you bring me up on the newest lingo they're using?"

"Certainly. In plain language, they are initials meaning 'User Experience" and 'Key Performance Indices", or how he's turning souls into DQ converts."

"Like the old 'Primrose Path' deal with virgins?"

"Indeed. Our whole process is deceptive walking.  We think part of the problem is Zuck and his team are trying to overautomate the process. More and more Mortals are seeing through the ruse and pushing back. We are hoping we can get him to go back to the basics."

"Can you give me an example?"

"Yes. Zuck has a guy on his team named Altman, who champions something called 'Artificial Intelligence'. It is no more than a series of QC scripts tied together designed to replace Demon involvement. On the surface, it sounds like a great idea, but you end up with drivel like this All in the Material World. Even a high schooler could look through that."

"What about promoting Sandy Wrath's Chaos Project? Has he made progress with that?"

"To a certain extent, but frankly, one of his competitors, Musk, is doing a better job at it. There are a lot of Esau souls in the waiting room upstairs, along with some Orthodox types. The plan is to assign them directly to Wrath with minimum training, just to keep the momentum going. I will say that Dick Nixon has been instrumental in getting Mortals to take the bait and think what's going on is Project 144K"

"Mortals always confuse movement with action. Maker and I have both used that to our advantage through the ages. But really, Sandy's deal isn't Disneyland. I have sympathy for the people impacted."

"Speaking of 144K, any word from Maker whether He is really going through with it this time?"

"Not yet. But as we were told, there will be signs upon signs and they would all be for naught. I have a feeling we've got many QC cycles ahead of us. Now get back to work."

"Yes, Sir."